Saturnalia

Snails don’t do Christmas. They don’t want their antennae trimmed with baubles or flashing lights or their houses lit up with a jolly Santa complete with reindeer and sleigh. They wouldn’t know what to do with a sprig of mistletoe. For them Christmas Day is just another day. You don’t have to think about what to get them this year. They are the creatures who already have everything.

The winter solstice is very welcome when at long last the mornings and evenings start to get lighter. When edible snails were first brought to Britain by the Romans, this time of year was the festival of Saturnalia. There was lots of cross dressing and role reversal so being hermaphrodite would have had its advantages.

If you want to cook snails the Roman way you have to fatten them on milk. They were then fried in oil and served dressed with wine and liquamen, a sauce made from the fermented entrails of fish. Bon appetit!